trust me, i'm a doctor.

well, i outdid myself tonight. i went out to dinner tonight with some friends, and when i got back into my car to leave, it wouldn't start. it would kind of light up and the radio would come on, but it just wouldn't turn over. i lept out of my car to stop my friend from leaving and in the process locked my keys in the car, battery running. (curse words!)

fortunately, my trunk was unlocked so after i shimmied through the trunk and hurled myself over the back seat action-movie style, i retrieved my keys and aaa card and called ... my father. (yes, i am 27 years old. why do you ask?)

"well, it's probably your battery." he pronounced. "they go without warning. you need a jump."
"but the headlights came on!" i protested.
"not enough power to start the car, probably." he countered.

so i called aaa. the kindly tow man showed up with his jumper contraption. despite my feminist sensibilities, i put on my best damsel in distress look.

"alright, start it!" he commanded.
[rumble, rumble, rumble, sputter.]
"try again."
[rumble, sputter.]
(me, internally: "crap, this is bad! how will i get to work tomorrow!?! i can't afford a new car right now.")
"um, step on the gas?"
[continued rumbling/sputtering.]
"this is what it's been doing?"
[nod]

mechanic: "so, uh, how much gas is in your car?"
me: "um, not much, but the light's not even on and after that i still have like 60 miles!"
mechanic: "yeah, but look at the hill you're parked on. all your gas is in the back of your tank."
me: [sizes up car parked at 45 degree angle.]
mechanic: "get out."

so, he put my car in neutral, rolled it down the hill until it was nice and flat. then he started it without incident and i followed him to the garage, where i filled my tank right up and drove home.

honest to god, i'm a smart person, i swear i am. put your life in my hands. you'll be fine.